“Hearing Again” Woman #7

FOR TODAY… February 26, 2010

Outside my window…

Oh my! The wind is really strong today! The trees and bushes are whipping about as if in a dance competition. Right now, the bushes are winning hands down.

About 70% of the snow has melted off. Our once spectacular drifts are now mere 2-3 foot pitiful, sloshy, masses of dirty snow. I hate it when all the beautiful “white stuff” no longer IS.

Lots of traffic in the cul-de-sac this morning. Why? It’s a cul-de-sac, not a through street!

I am thinking…

About my little sister and her family. It’s so tough being unemployed. We were there only two short years ago. Other than a health crisis, I’m not sure anything is more stressful on what is normally a solid family unit.

I am hearing…

… the result of all that wind. The trees may be dancing a merry jig in an attempt at “one-upping” the bushes, but the noise they are making sound like bees. Yeah, I know strange. But in trying to discover a way to describe the sound I’m hearing, I can only come up with the very angry noise of bees.

I am thankful for…

… the fact we don’t have a lot of bees around here. I’m allergic. Those epi-pen shots and subsequent ER visit are never very much fun. I think it’s a RIOT how these prompting questions sometimes get me off on a tangent!

Seriously, today I am extra thankful for steady employment for hubby. He pays our bills (barely), and it is steady enjoyable work for him.

I am wearing…

A tan sweatsuit, tennis shoes and a cream-colored turtleneck underneath. It’s cold! I’m also wearing glasses, which for me is WEIRD. I have very itchy eyes, and opted to do without the contacts today. I think the itchy eyes are from the increased usage of our furnace making the air extremely dry. My skin is dry as well… where did I put that Neutrogena Skin care cream?

A Cochlear Implant

… is wonderful when you want to hear the evidence of what your eyes see in that WIND.

I am remembering…

… the fact that 4 years and 9 months ago, I couldn’t hear the sounds coming from things my eyes could see. Not blowing, dancing trees and bushes, nor people’s words coming from their mouths, the clickity-click of my keyboard, the whir of the ceiling fan overhead… and so much more!

I am going…

… to Fidos For Freedom tomorrow and bonus – – Kyersten is off so she can come with me! I really enjoy these trips to and from the training center. She loves helping out there and working “spare dogs”, and it is something I am glad to share with her. She’ll be gone this fall, and I’ll certainly miss this one-on-one time with her. Sniff.

I need to…

Fold a load of towels, remind my son to vacuum, and finish a research paper for my class.

A disability is NOT…

… always easy. Case in point, my Meniere’s disease/rainy weather caught me by surprise this week. After a couple of unexpected falls and resulting bruises, I allowed myself to feel sorry for myself for 5 minutes. I set the timer, wailed, Chloe let me know when the timer went off, wiped my tears and blew my nose… and GOT ON WITH LIFE. Poor Chloe isn’t sure what to do when an alert is suppose to happen but I’m wailing into my pillow. Her normal, eager bump/kisses are a tentative tap with a paw. I look up and she wags her tail cautiously. Poor thing isn’t use to my pity parties even after being with me as long as she has. Maybe that means I don’t have them very often?

I am currently reading…

Still finishing up “The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism”. It’s a tough read I think. His logic and my logic don’t follow the same course. It’s more than the fact that he’s a man and I’m… not. It’s a good book… just tough to plow through. Terry bought me a surprise book though! That alone is impetus for me to finish up the other book. (For… ya know I cannot read two books at once – just not possible!). He purchased John Ortberg’s “The ME I want to be: Becoming God’s best version of you”. He is my favorite author and I have all of his books. I can’t wait to get started. When I read something he wrote… I change. Morphing into something a little better, finer, and more pleasing to God. I just love his writing style. (FUNNY!)

I am hoping…

… for so many things I can’t list them here. Many are constant prayer requests, some are simple quick wishes like a cup of hot cocoa!

From the kitchen…

Tonight we are having steak, biscuits and asparagus. Kyersten works tonight and is not crazy about red meat. I take advantage of Friday nights to have our red meat each week. The guys feel like they’ll perish without it. (rolls eyes)

Around the house…

… it will look pretty good around here once my son vacuums!

One of my favorite things…

… is Earl Grey tea. I have a pot brewing in the kitchen right now. I can’t wait to get to it!

My husband…

… is not resting well at night. He resembles Darth Vader as it is with his sleep apnea gear on his face at night, but he’s been twitching and scrambling about the bed covers. I’m deaf (without my cochlear implant), but I’m not dead. He practically tossed me out of the bed last night at one point. I smacked his arm and told him to cut it out. I think he is having nightmares. I need to talk to him… BEFORE we turn the lights out tonight.

My daughter…

… doesn’t eat enough to keep a mouse alive. Ok, alright! Perhaps she eats plenty to keep a mouse alive… sigh. Yeah, she eats enough to keep a whole FAMILY of mice alive, but she doesn’t eat enough to satisfy MOM. She’s such a tiny little thing, and doesn’t eat the most healthy choices when she does choose to eat. I may have to start fussing at her again. Her clothes are loose and I’m going bananas sitting across from her at family meals seeing her 1/2 empty plate.

My son…

… is not gonna be happy when MOM comes stomping downstairs with an ultimatum about the vacuuming.

My assistance dog…

… is asleep in a sun patch. She and Tyco (our Norwegian Elkhound family dog) have been growling at the howling wind.

A picture to share from this week…

My new book!

“Hearing Again” Woman #5

FOR TODAY… February 5, 2010

Outside my window…

It’s snowing! This is “the big un” according to the local and national meteorologists. We could get anywhere from 26 to 32 inches. I can’t wait! Right now it is just drifting down pretty calmly, but more than what one could call “flurries”. The neighborhood was quiet until people starting rushing home from work about an hour ago. They park, stick the windshield wipers up… and then grab the bag of bread and milk that they just collected from the grocery store after knocking down the lady with the cane for that last loaf of Wonder bread.

I am thinking…

… about how much I enjoy snow. I love shoveling the stuff and I get a hard time about that. There is something pretty magical about the sound of a metal snow shovel slicing through the snow, lifting, and tossing it on to the nearest drift. I love looking behind me to see the path I’ve cut across the driveway, back deck, or sidewalk. Aren’t I strange?

I am hearing…

… the bathroom fan running. Hubby didn’t go to work with the incoming blizzard. He did run to the gym, however, and came home to shower here. That means I have a load of laundry to do by now.

I am thankful for…

… my godly parents. Got a “Skype” (webcam) phone call from my mother this morning. Daddy is having some health issues again which could be potentially serious. I “hear” the worry in both their voices, but I’m EVER SO THANKFUL they both love and trust the Lord. Praying for them makes them seem closer than they really are. I’m guessing they are about 16 hours from here now that they live in central Florida.

I am wearing…

… blue jeans, black turtle-neck, gray sweatshirt, thick socks, hiking boots, and February bling on my cochlear implant.

A Cochlear Implant…

… is sometimes mistaken for a bluetooth phone. Go figure. Side by side, they don’t look a thing alike!

I am remembering…

… what it was like to be in labor with my oldest – my daughter Kyersten – twenty years ago today. It wasn’t “pleasant”, which is why remembering makes my heart accelerate and blood pressure go up. I was determined to have her “naturally” with no drugs. (Youth = stupidity). I had “back labor” and was practically screaming by the time she finally crowned. Happy birthday Kyersten!

I am going…

… absolutely NO WHERE. Blizzard coming… ‘member? We are hunkering down for a weekend stuck in the house. Movies, check. Popcorn, check. Books, check. School work to do, check.

I need to…

… get started on that school work I alluded too. I have a paper due Monday. It’s only 1400 words, but still! I need to at least get my research out of the way today. I’m taking a 500 level “Multicultural Psychology” class this term. Basically it’s how to be politically correct as a psychologist. (rolls eyes)

A disability is NOT…

… a culture. At least not defined by most psychologists. There is a new group however, explaining that a culture can be a group of people who share a common disability. Funny thing that word disability. It gets some folk’s hackles up, while others embrace it a little too fondly.

I am currently reading…

… a textbook written by Hall entitled, “Multicultural Psychology” and some more deep thoughts by William Bennett.

I am hoping…

… for as much snow as they are calling for!

From the kitchen…

… I think we will have sandwiches and chips for supper. I was going to have left over “NC style BBQ”, but folks warmed up a bunch at lunch. I don’t think I have enough to serve for supper now. Oh well… I love the vinegar-based BBQ recipe I found for my slow cooker. I’ve fixed it twice in two weeks now.

Around the house…

… I need to remind Chris that he was suppose to vacuum on Wednesday. I can look around and see that it did NOT get done. I have to remind my 19 year old from time to time that I am DEAF – not BLIND.

One of my favorite things…

… is doing laundry. I have a load in the dryer, and a load in the washer waiting to be transferred. Best perk of laundry is folding clothes fresh from the dryer. LOVE IT!

My husband…

… is puttering around his office. I just saw him pull the attic stairs down and move Ebony’s pink crate up in the attic. We miss her. 😦

My daughter…

… is headed out to Starbuck’s. She has cabin fever and hasn’t even become snowbound yet. It’s COLD and she has to go run to Starbuck’s to get a frappuccino! Strange child…

My son…

… is doing homework. Or so he tells me when I “IM’d” him to remind him about the vacuuming.

My assistance dog…

… is curled up in her bed beside me here in my office. She’s not nearly so excited about the snow falling as my Norwegian Elkhound.

A picture to share from this week…

My February “bling”:

Denise Portis

© 2010 Personal Hearing Loss Journal

“Hearing Again” Woman #3

FOR TODAY… January 22, 2010

Outside my window…

Icy rain falling, and slushy ice particles all over the ground and driveway. Hope everyone is careful out there today!

I am thinking…

… about the numerous families in our church that are hurting. Disease, sickness, unemployment and divorce are taking their toll on the families are our small church. So many hurting people! I don’t feel comfortable calling someone on the phone because of my hearing loss unless I know their voice very well. Instead, I try to send message of encouragement, but it seems woefully inadequate. I’m thinking and pondering if it even makes a difference? How can a note of “I love you” even begin to help heal the hurt in the life of a broken-hearted individual?

I am hearing…

… very little, but only because it’s quiet! My kids are still in bed, and hubby has left for work. The two “big dogs” are the only conscious beings with me right now! They are laying very quietly after wearing themselves out while outside this morning. Tyco is panting (because the heat is on inside obviously), and Chloe is stretched out at my feet. I can hear the clickity-clack of the ceiling fan above me, and a slight humming sound from the heat vent.

I am thankful for…

… my husband’s steady job. I know so many who are worried about current contracts, or are unemployed. It is a scary economy right now. I try not to let a day go by without telling God “thank you” for my husband’s current position!

I am wearing…

… blue jeans, gray sweatshirt, thick socks and hiking boots. Oh! And a gray turtleneck underneath my sweatshirt!

A Cochlear Implant…

… can be really fun to “dress up”. I call it “CI BLING”, and enjoy changing the colors out every month. It will be February soon, which means I’ll be changing my blue and silver for pink and red. Being very visible about my hearing loss has only served to be in my best interests!

I am remembering…

… my great-grandmother Webster. I came across an ASL video quiz that I made a couple of years ago which was for my “level 3” class. The video quiz was about my great-grandmother. A sweet centenarian, she was fairly active all the way up until she broke her hip that last time. I miss her. She was a no-nonsense, practical Christian.

I am going…

… to our homeschool co-op’s bi-monthly “Hang Time” tonight. The teens enjoy these get-togethers just hanging out, eating junk food and playing games. Since Chris is a senior, this is my last year to do these!

I need to…

… finish up the laundry. I only got about 1/2 of it done yesterday before work.

A disability is NOT…

… an end to life as you know it. I am able to do most of the things I use to enjoy. Those things I cannot do, I have learned to enjoy other things to take their place. Having a disability does not mean you aren’t “able”!

I am currently reading…

… “Our Sacred Honor” by William J. Bennett.

I am hoping…

… for snow believe it or not. Hey! If it’s going to be THIS cold (25 degrees), there should be snow to show for it!

From the kitchen…

… we are having chicken tacos tonight (soft-shell). I have chicken thawing out, and of course a can of refried beans for the picky-eater in our family. At least she fixes those beans by herself so that I can concentrate on the chicken!

Around the house…

… I need to remind Terry to take care of the sump pump. A plumber came out to look at it and said it just needed the pit cleaned. He “Googled” it wouldn’t you know, and needs to buy some “stuff” in order to follow the directions and take care of it. If I don’t keep reminding him, these “honey do” things tend to get forgotten.

One of my favorite things…

… is a bubble bath. The only thing is? I NEVER take one anymore. I mean? Who has time? I shower at night in order to avoid the rush in the morning with those who have to in the A.M., and by the time I get to the shower… I am TIRED. I just want to get it, shampoo, get clean, get dry and go to bed!

My husband…

… is like a little boy when it comes to “24”. He mentions lines from the last episode all week. I tolerate watch the show simply to humor him. Truth? Half the time I have no idea what is going on!

My daughter…

… has dived right into school. She seems to really enjoy her classes so far. She got her first “B” last semester, and is determined it not happen again. Me? I was happy with the occasional “C” for some of my classes!

My son…

… is such a social butterfly. He certainly enjoys being with people. He’s always been this way… even as a little squirt. Now he’s a 6′ 3″ “big squirt” and still loves being around people. Homeschooled first through twelfth grades, some may think he was isolated and alone. On the contrary, his life has always been full of people and activities.

My assistance dog…

… needs her vest washed. It takes awhile to dry, so I have to do it on a day we aren’t doing anything else. Maybe I can get to that after church on Sunday! (crosses fingers)

A picture to share from this week…

(My January CI BLING)

Denise Portis

© 2010 Personal Hearing Loss Journal

“Hearing Again” Woman #2

FOR TODAY… January 16, 2010

Outside my window…

It is dark. It is already 6:30 PM so I can’t see anything outside my window. Imagine that!

I am thinking…

The kids just left to go to a movie and I am thinking about how glad I am that they can “stand each other”. Oh sure, they argue sometimes but they also tend to get along pretty well. It’s nice they can go to a movie and just hang out if they want. It also makes me kinda miss my own siblings though!

I am hearing…

I can hear the hubby downstairs talking to his dad on the phone. This still amazes me. That I can hear someone in another room talking, recognize their voice, and even know who it is that they are talking too! I just love my cochlear implant. (Hubby talks VERY southern when he is talking to his daddy, so I know he has to be talkin’ to him right now! GRIN).

I am thankful for…

… my assistance dog. She woke me up around 1:00 AM this morning which is highly unusual. I turned on the light and asked her what the problem was. She took me to my husband who was passed out cold on the floor! She must have heard him hit! (He has a bruise on his head, so we think he hit his head on the way down). She was never trained for this and I am always amazed when she does something instinctive like this. Luckily he is fine… he had food poisoning yesterday and for whatever reason ended up passing out. I’m glad the bruise seems to be all that is evidence of his last 12 hours!

I am wearing…

Blue jeans, gray sweatshirt with black turtleneck underneath… and hiking boots.

A Cochlear Implant…

… always goes “dead” and need its batteries changed at the most inopportune time! I suppose that means that at ANY given moment of the day everything we are hearing “again” and experiencing are “important moments”. I have never heard my “warning” beep to change my batteries at a time that was convenient!

I am remembering…

… my cousin Candi tonight. I just got off perusing her Facebook and am just amazed at the distinct and genuine evidence of Christ in her life. She was just diagnosed with breast cancer and is just an amazing young mother. She has a new blog at: My Favorite Things

I am going…

… no place else today! GRIN! It’s dark and I don’t see well at night, so I’m “in for the night”. I plan to curl up with a book and read.

I need to…

Go find my NLT version of the Bible. I read something in my new ESV study Bible this morning that made me think (Proverbs 21). I wanted to see what another version said.

A disability is NOT…

… and excuse to put away your dreams. You can still have goals and dreams and find a way to reach them!

I am currently reading…

I just started Joyce Meyer’s “Managing Your Emotions”. Yeah… that’s right! I’m an emotional creature.

I am hoping…

… my mom calls me this weekend. She and Dad both had doctor appointments this week I believe. I’m anxious to see how things went.

From the kitchen…

I am going to slap a couple of sandwiches together for hubby and I. Aren’t I industrious?

Around the house…

… I need to get the clothes out of the dryer and fold them. I also need to put the “Haystacks” in an airtight ziplock bag for the kid’s college get-together tomorrow night. If there are broken pieces, I get to eat them with ZERO calories to add! Yup! Broken pieces of candy have no calories. Didn’t you know that?

One of my favorite things…

Warm clothes out of the dryer… yup! I can’t wait to go down and get those clothes! (Aren’t I strange?)

My husband…

… has been enjoying the playoffs today. I just don’t get football season or the playoffs. In the end, the only game that matters is the Super Bowl. Why not watch other things all year, and just tune into the Super Bowl each year? That just seems incredibly logical to ME!

My daughter…

… is looking forward to school starting. This is her first long winter break as she has always taken a class during the break in the past. All this free time has actually made her anxious for classes to start back. You go girl!

My son…

… is not looking forward to school starting. He seems to “relax and enjoy” better than his sister does.

My assistance dog…

… is resting quietly by my side. I’m rather surprised actually! It’s past her supper time! She usually REMINDS me by now!

A picture to share from this week…

In honor of my cousin Candi… May God bless your writing and chronicle of this new journey!


“Hearing Again” Woman #1

FOR TODAY… January 8, 2010

Outside my window… There is about an inch of lovely, white snow on the ground. It started last night while DD and I walked a stray dog from house to house to see who he belonged too. Sky is cloudy, but the sun is still peeping through. It’s rather bright out there in spite of things!

I am thinking… The little dog picked up last night by Animal Control. Wish he had tags or some form of I.D. I’m hopeful he has a microchip and they will be able to find his owners.

I am hearing… The clickity click of my keyboard as I type, the ceiling fan whirling above me, and a ringing of tinnitus in my unimplanted ear.

I am thankful for… Well… all the things I hear this morning of course, but also for some happier faces and more joyful hearts in particular members of my family.

I am wearing… black sweatpants, long sleeve red cotton shirt, and my glasses. The latter is very weird for me. I had itchy eyes this morning so have delayed putting my contacts in yet.

A Cochlear Implant… is not very uncommon anymore. At least not in my area. I wonder if it is because of my proximity to John’s Hopkins and The Listening Center? Regardless, people around here are just not at all surprised about seeing a cochlear implant on a person’s head now. I see children, teens, and adults… at least once a week!

I am remembering… homemade cottage cheese that my grandmother made. YUM! I had some for breakfast this morning so it made me think of her. She made this wonderful dry curd cottage cheese from the fresh cow’s milk on her farm. Right before it is served, you add a bit of skimmed heavy cream and salt. Oh my! Nothing better than that, let me tell you!

I am going… no place today, but I am going to training at Fidos For Freedom tomorrow! I can’t wait! Chloe loves going and so do I. I’ll have to rush home and finish homework for this weekend, but that’s OK!

I need to… walk today regardless of the weather. I’m just going to have to bundle up. If I don’t stay active, I’m not going to reach my goal.

A disability is NOT… life ending.

I am currently reading… several things actually. I just finished “Meet Mr. Smith” by Eric & Leslie Ludy. I’m going to pass it on to my son, Chris now. He’s going to love it! I’m also reading “Be Anxious for Nothing” by Joyce Meyer. Before bed, I am reading (again) The Swiss Family Robinson… a childhood favorite.

I am hoping… for more snow, an opportunity to walk, supper ideas, healing for very sick family and friends.

From the kitchen… I’m stumped. I need to go look in the deep freezer and see what my options are for dinner tonight.

Around the house… its very quiet around here. Hubby is at work and both kids are in bed. That’s right… it’s 10:17 AM and they are in bed. SIGH. At 18 and 19 yo though, they are “in charge” of certain things in their life as long as it doesn’t interfere with their responsibilities.

One of my favorite things… Barry Manilow. Yeah, I’m strange I guess. I’ve been singing one of his songs all morning.

My husband… works so hard. I’m glad his important meeting went well yesterday. He has another important meeting next week at the Pentagon. I’m praying for him in advance.

My daughter… is actually ready for school to start on the 21st I think! She was so burnt out this past December, I didn’t think she’d have enough “down time”. She seems excited to start her last semester at AACC.

My son… needs to get organized for school starting 1/21. He’s also way behind in Geometry which he still takes at home this year. He needs to get “his rear in gear”. I have a feeling he is going to be grounded if he doesn’t meet “mom’s deadline”.

My assistance dog… is laying quietly by my side. She didn’t sleep well last night. I think the stray dog here for awhile made her a little anxious. It is tough to bring “something new” into the “pack”. She sure tossed and turned a lot last night!

A picture to share from this week… a photo of the little guy my daughter rescued from the snow in the middle of our cul-de-sac. He was sitting huddled in the snow and shivering. No tags, scared to death and cold. Unfortunately, there were no tags or identification on him. Please folks! Always make sure your dog has a tag, and a microchip is a super back-up.

Denise Portis

© 2010 Hearing Loss Journal

“Hearing Again” Woman

One of my online friends is very faithful about posting her Monday blogs entitled, “Simple Woman“. We “met” I suppose due to a mutual interest in hearing loss. One of her handsome sons has a hearing loss and wears a hearing aid. I tried being a “Simple Woman” for a time, and some of these blog posts can be found in my archive. I just haven’t been able to OWN this regular posting in spite of how much I love reading other’s posts. I love the simplicity of the postings; however, my life has changed so much due to not homeschooling this year. I guess you could say I did not feel like I “fit in” with this wonderful group of women posting these blurbs each Monday. To make up for it though… I plan to start my own Friday “simple post”. The prompts are always thought-provoking and meaningful… at least they are to me! I love having something to look forward to with which to end my week! Blogging sometimes is just about the joy of blogging after all!

FOR TODAY… (today’s date)

Outside my window…

I am thinking…

I am hearing…

I am thankful for…

I am wearing…

A Cochlear Implant…

I am remembering…

I am going…

I need to…

A disability is NOT…

I am currently reading…

I am hoping…

From the kitchen…

Around the house…

One of my favorite things…

My husband…

My daughter…

My son…

My assistance dog…

A picture to share from this week…

Denise Portis

© 2010 Personal Hearing Loss Journal