I’m fine. Really.


“Never underestimate the lingering effects of a dash of spontaneous comfort.” (Greenlee, 2008)

Ugh! I hate it when I see unfinished posts and reminders to post to my blog. Writing always helps me. ALWAYS. Yet, sometimes I let “stuff” get in the way of coming here to write, sharing my heart and mind with any who will “listen”.

I’m weary. I’m so weary, in fact, I’ve forgotten to turn my filter to the “ON” position and when answering that habitual greeting, “How are you, Denise?” I’m blurting out… “Awful. Crappy. FINISHED!

Honest? Maybe. Correct? Well… not according to our society. When someone asks how are you, the age-old response is “Fine! Great! How are you?

Is it lying when you are responding with a customary and expected, “pre-recorded” and chirpy reply? I don’t know that I would call it LYING, but it is certainly

… the expected

… customary

… response.

There isn’t anything going on that is the CAUSE of my bleh. Perhaps I’m not getting enough rest. That seems to always have an impact on my bleh-meter.

Surprisingly, a major source of bleh-busters have been quick, yet heartfelt comments by someone I know.

“I care about you!”

“You made my day!”

… and a friend who posted on FaceBook this morning on behalf of EVERYONE reading that I laid claim to since I was one of those readers:

you are loved

Isn’t it amazing how a spontaneous, genuine word of encouragement can make a dreary day, brighter? These verbal “high fives” are sometimes quick phrases of encouragement. Sometimes someone simply checks in to see how I’m doing. These things matter. They matter enough that I know I want to do a better job of being more likely to share the same with others.

“Never underestimate the lingering effects of a dash of spontaneous comfort.” (Greenlee, 2008)

Denise Portis

© 2015 Personal Hearing Loss Journal

Greenlee, G. (2008). Postcards & pearls: Life lessons from solo moments on the road. San Diego, CA: Aventine Press


5 thoughts on “I’m fine. Really.

  1. Remember, your simple words “I care” at the bottom of one of my post made a huge difference to me one day.
    and remember. I care.

    As you can tell, I haven’t posted in a while too.
    Trying to, I have a lot of things to post about, but can’t get it done.
    Hopefully soon.

    always the big question.
    When someone asks how you are doing, do you tell the truth?
    even to those who are close to us, do we really want to tell them?
    I have a hard time with this. I don’t like to say everything is fine.
    but I know people don’t want to hear everything.
    Rotten!! I’m having migraines from hell!
    No that’s not a very good answer either huh?
    sometimes I just say…”oh you know…been better, been worse.” 🙂
    People don’t realize, yes I might feel rotten, but I accept that. It’s a rotten day, and that’s ok. I accept the good and the bad. That’s why I don’t have an issue saying I feel crappy. But people feel they have to say…”I’m sorry” and they feel uncomfortable, and often pity me. They have nothing to feel sorry for, and I don’t need pity. It is how it is. I don’t think…”Why me?” Whey someone says to me…you don’t deserve this…I think, well no one does. and “Why not me?” It just happens. Ya know?

    Well I guess I could have written a post. ha.

    Take care of you.
    because hey….people care.

    1. Thanks, Wendy. It really does help to know someone cares. Folks don’t realize you don’t have to reach out in a big way to make a difference.

      I’m with you. I accept I’m going to have really bad days. They come with the good though so I can still hold my head up. It’s hard to know if someone is REALLY wanting to know or if “been better – been worse” is enough… or to much? 🙂

      Thank you for being YOU.

  2. I have really bad days and when asked what’s wrong people can often look angry or say something flip to me so usually just say I’m fine. Finally accepted that I am differently abled and am doing the best I can. Difficult but I’m finding my voice and if I am weary and tired from trying to listen and hear and I don’t feel comfortable in certain situations I’m going to say and take care of me….
    Your blog is so good to read and look forward to it.

  3. I think one of the hardest learned (yet most important) lessons for differently-abled folks is recognizing when we’ve reached our limit and need to stay home and rest up. Folks do not realize how exhausting it can be to hear/listen. Isn’t it a shame we don’t burn calories doing this?

  4. Gosh yes! If I burned calories doing all this work, I’d be a skinny thing! Instead of gaining weight.
    and Yes. Elaine, we have to take care of us first. To most people I don’t know…well yes…I’m fine. I do notice I say to my husband a lot that I’m “OK”. but that’s so he won’t jump up to help me. If I say, no, then he wants to fix it.
    Well lately, I’ve been having some very bad days.
    If he tried to fix everything he wouldn’t be doing anything else. and he has a lot to do. ha.
    I’m so very grateful that I don’t have to go out in the real world when I feel like this, I can just stay home and unplug my ears if I want and not even try too listen.

    Ladies…take care of you.

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