You’d think by now hound dog was accustomed to me bustin’ out into peals of laughter. I’ve done it often enough, after all! But I still take her by surprise sometimes!
I had a “Murphy’s Law” kind of day just recently. One of those days where if something COULD go wrong, it WOULD. Some interesting facts about Murphy’s Law and where it all began, visit this link. “Whatever can go wrong will go wrong”.
Chloe and I were walking one evening and the weather was DIVINE. Hardly any clouds, low humidity, and I had a “pep in my step”. For once, my Meniere’s disease was allowing me to walk at a pretty good clip with very little weaving. When I walk, I talk to my dog. Chloe would probably freak if I took a walk and was totally silent. It helps her pay attention to me, and I throw her name in there from time to time. However, sometimes I’m just…
Yackin’
Yup. Just talkin’ about anything and everything. It helps me to think out loud and I tend to go on and On and ON. I actually said out loud, “Wow, Chloe. Look at how easily I’m walking this evening! No wobbles! Moving along at a good rate! I’m smokin’!”
Chloe gave me this LOOK. Almost as if she anticipated something going wrong after that lofty observation. Within 30 seconds (I kid you NOT), I stumbled on an ornery piece of elevated sidewalk and opened my mouth to shriek (for I do precious little QUIETLY) only to have a bee swoop in my open mouth as I began to fall into a nearby bush. So here I am choking on a bee, trying like crazy to spit it out while being impaled on various twigs and branches of a bush… a ROSE bush – wouldn’t ya know? So thorns grabbing me everywhere. Worse, it was damp earth under the bush thanks to recent rains so when I connected with the ground there was a obvious squishy sound and splat as my hip, knee and foot connected. So there I lay in the mud INSIDE a bush, choking on a bee, covered in thorns, desperately trying to hang on to my leash because Chloe was …
OUT THERE
SOMEWHERE
outside the BUSH.
I laid there a minute trying to go through my Meniere’s “play list” that automatically begins playing after I fall.
It’s a cute little jingle.
I’d share the wonderful lyrics with you so that you can sing along… but frankly I can’t carry a tune in a bucket and it’s one of those songs one whines and sings to oneself. So anyway… I run through the steps.
1. Am I dead?
2. Is anything broken?
3. Where is Chloe?
4. Can I move?
5. Do I need help?
So I was able to answer, No, No, *POINTS – somewhere outside the bush*, Barely, Yes.
I tried to turn to see if I could reach my bag. You know… the one with my cell phone in it that I carry in case of emergency? I can see it just out of reach out *there* near Chloe’s legs.
So… I asked Chloe to fetch the bag for me. She grabbed it up and ducked down to look under the bush at me. What she saw, made her drop her jaw and the bag tumbled back to the ground. Crap. Now my phone is laying outside the bag. So I tell Chloe to “fetch phone” – which is actually easier for her to do as it is something she does several times a day. She grabs the phone, looks down under the branches again to where I lay and squirmed to reach my outstretched hand to give me the phone. Success!
Only… the phone is dead. That’s right, I carry around a phone with a dead battery on walks because it is SO helpful to do that. *rolls eyes*
So I decided that I needed to get out from under the bush. Easier said than done. I’m hung up, slightly injured, dizzy, muddy and on the verge of crying. Not a good combination. I thought, “Oh my gosh. I’m going to have to lay here until somebody walks by to help. How embarrassing! How will I explain this?” I didn’t have to lay there very long before I noticed that Chloe was now snuffling at my hung up hoodie sweatshirt.
TUG. YANK. R…I….P! Unbelievable! She tugged me free!
I rolled to one side to get out from under the bush and was wise enough to sit there a minute. Chloe plopped down and waited for me to “collect myself”. I fall SO OFTEN, if I am able to just go down without hitting my head I consider that a coup. So I checked out all my scratches and now torn clothing and thought that – heck. It could’ve been worse. It HAS been worse. So I started to laugh. Sometimes? All you can do is laugh. Chloe looked at me and just panted and “grinned”. It’s not the first time I’ve sat laughing covered in mud and trying to find the wherewithal to get up and keep going! (Likely won’t be the last time either!)
Can You Laugh at Yourself? Should You?
If you live with an invisible illness, have a disability, or a chronic condition, it can be helpful to learn to laugh at yourself. A great little article about the benefits of laughter can be found HERE.
But if you don’t believe in the power of endorphins or social connectedness, you still should learn to laugh at yourself. At least… that is my opinion. Here are some reasons I have learned to laugh at myself:
1. If I am laughing, it can reduce anxiety that others may feel when my disability pops up and causes me to do something like fall, mishear something, or other “Denise blooper”. Does it matter if someone else’s anxiety is lessened? Well… I don’t want people to feel uncomfortable around me. If I can laugh at myself, hopefully they will learn that I take who I am and my new “life parameters” in stride and am fine with it.
2. It reduces MY anxiety. Endorphins are real. It’s not some kind of borg nanotechnology that only re-routes and fixes sci-fy actresses. I FEEL BETTER after laughing.
3. If I laugh, it really helps me accept myself – just the way I am. You can’t change the unchangeable. I’m a klutz. I’m going to fall. As long as I’m in one piece and don’t have any odd bits of bone poking out anywhere, (Yeah, I know. Right?) laughing at myself helps me just accept what happened. It is MY WAY of embracing my flaws. This is who I am.
3. It helps me put things in perspective. While cackling like a hyena, I can take stock too. My little “jingle” may re-play. Some deep breaths – a mirthful hiccough or two, and I’m good as new!
4. Laughing helps me de-stress. Likely I’m laughing because I just did something that COULD cause me stress. (What if someone saw? Bet this mud will NOT come out of my jeans! Chloe tore my hoodie! I’m never walking again! As a matter of fact I’m just going to sit here on the sidewalk and feel sorry for myself! I’m going to stomp on my phone – when I finally get up. I hate my life! I want my mother… ) Laughing… de-stresses me. I can feel the tension roll off of my shoulders.
So I do believe “laughter is good medicine”. But…
There are perfectly good reasons to take the time to CRY too.
Or Scream.
… but those are best left for another writer to touch on! 😉
Denise Portis
© 2014 Personal Hearing Loss Journal
You lead such an eventful life! Glad you’re ok 🙂
(Hands Denise a rag with some healing ointment of some kind). This story reminded me when I was a kid. Yep, way back when I was about 5, already doing the Menieres dance. Who knew? We were on a vacation on a beach somewhere in Florida. I wanted to hang out with my older brother and sister early in the morning. We were quietly walking along the beach that beautiful morning, when a HUGE, black cloud of mosquitoes headed our way, full speed ahead, with all their pointy noises headed directly towards us. My brother and sister took off running towards the cabin. I ran behind them, but my little legs just carried me much slower. But I ran with all I had, watching carefully where my sister and brother were going when THUD! I found myself completely stuck on a cacti from head to toe. The cacti looked down at me like “honey, was I not tall enough for ya? Was I not green enough? Did you NOT see my beautiful and unmistaken HUGE THORNS?! I looked up at the cacti, begging for forgiveness….but I also had a pending priority, to cry as hard and as loud as I could until someone came to, well….peal me off the offended cacti.
We just got a new rescue dog and she has not seen me bust out into fits of laughter before…until I was reading this post…when the bee flew in your mouth, that was just too much, it was as if you had to be making this up! All of this could not be happening at once!
Kiki now knows what it is like to see me laughing so hard she is in tears, at first she was very excited and wanted to play, then I think it scared her a little. Poor thing, she will have to get used to that, it is a common thing around here.
Like you, I cope with a lot of things with laughter. 🙂
Denise, my hearing dogs each felt it their job to make me dissolve into peals of laughter. My first was an empathy with the uncanny ability to know when I was sick or down. She’d come to me and lick my face. I’d start to giggle and she’d lick me again. The more I giggled the more she gave me kisses until at last she’d step away looking terribly satisfied as if to say, “My work here is done!”. My current dog is a lovable goof who thinks making me laugh is part of his job description. He does it often and he does it well. Gotta love a good hearing dog!
What a sweet story though, it’s amazing she pulled you out! What a smartie!
But you really need to address the elephant in the room….
WTF HAPPENED WITH THAT BEE? DID YOU SWALLOW IT? DID IT STING YOU??
That sounds like my exact worst nightmare, I can’t even imagine it.
I only had hacked up evidence of PART of a bee. But thankfully, no sting! 🙂
Brilliantly written. Visualized your entire “adventure.” Keep up the humor…. you inspire!