Having a hearing assistance dog has its advantages when I do not hear “surround sound”. I have trouble with directionality as I only have one cochlear implant (and due to my balance problems very likely will not ever have a second). I have learned to pay attention to where Chloe is looking in order to figure out from what direction a sound is coming. The only problem is… sometimes I don’t pay attention.
Today our sweet cat, Kiki, found herself stuck due to my inability to hear and failure to take note of WHY Chloe was parked on the stairs instead of next to me. Kiki decided to squeeze between the door and the glass storm door in order to better partake of the sunlight and “view”. I did not know she was there, and closed the door because of the draft as I walked by. Thankfully, my husband came home about 10 minutes later and saw “cat on glass” as Kiki was smushed like a sardine between the storm door and metal door. We retrieved her amongst a chorus of “poor kitty”, and “I can’t believe I did that” while Kiki just purred and basked in all the attention. Having a hearing assistance dog is not an exact science when it comes to utilizing her amazing ears if I don’t pay attention to where she is fixated! I really have to pay attention to why she is parked and pointedly looking in one direction!
Reading Lips/Speech Reading
Some people believe that everyone with hearing loss read lips well. Actually, they call it speech reading now, as really you are trying to discern what someone says solely by what you see on their mouth as they speak. Speech reading is not an exact science. As a matter of fact, mistakes are often made by even the best of speech readers. Now that I hear as well as I do with my cochlear implant, I have lost the ability to speech read to some degree as I may once again rely on what I am hearing to understand in many situations. I do still rely on speech reading in noisy environments, and I will always be a big fan of closed captions. Several friends (God bless ’em) have started posting video links in Facebook that have the lyrics attached as well. This only enables me to hear BEST, so I am always thankful for what I see in addition to what I hear.
A couple of nights ago, my daughter was talking to her boyfriend on Skype. They go to separate colleges and during the school year have a “long-distance” relationship. My husband and I graduated from different colleges as well, but our only hope of contact was through a weekly letter (through good ol’ fashioned snail mail) and the occasional phone call. I was still able to use the phone well at the time, and waited by the pay phone at the end of the hall every Friday night. Technology has changed “long distance relationships”. My daughter actually has “candlelight dinner dates” with her boyfriend via Skype. They talk almost daily either “face-to-face” with Skype and webcam, or a minimum of numerous texts sent immediately through the easy access of cell phones. I popped my head in the other night and found them “talking”. My daughter “muted” the long-distance boyfriend so that she could ask me what I wanted. (Another interpretation, “Can’t you see I’m busy? Hurry up!”) Her boyfriend was still talking, so I told her what he was saying. She quickly typed (as you can both speak and type thru Skype) and asked him if what I said he asked was what was actually said. I was right on the button! She unmuted BK (the boyfriend) and both were amazed at my ability. I immediately chalked it up to “luck” and reminded them both that it isn’t a cheap parlor trick! It takes work and concentration to really be good at speech reading. I simply got lucky!
Think About What Looks Alike
I picked up a good HoH (hard of hearing) habit from a friend in California in 2006. She coached me to learn to repeat to people what I thought I heard even if I knew it could not be right. By doing so it did several positive things:
1. It allowed the person with normal hearing to only have to repeat what I got wrong, saving them the time and possible exasperration of repeating everything verbatim.
2. It allows the person with normal hearing to begin to understand what things sound like to ME… a person who hears with a cochlear implant. They learn to be experts at rephrasing things and finding synonyms to explain the same comment.
3. It allows both parties to see the “funny” in trying to make sense of what I hear. I both SEE in speech reading and hear with a cochlear implant.
4. It allows the HoH person to learn to extend grace and to accept that mistakes are made and most people are eager to help clear up the confusion. It creates a positive communication environment.
Stop for a moment and think about what looks the same on the mouth when words are enunciated. Some mistakes I’ve made:
1. I thought someone walked towards me with an admiring glance and said… “Sweeeeet…. heart”!
Really they were looking beyond me and saw a red corvette… they were saying “Sweeeeet Car!“
2. The words six and set look the same as SEX. (yikes!)
3. Mom I’m knitting hard!
Which was really, “Mom, I need the car!”
4. Mrs. Portis, I forgot my paper. Canons get formica? (I was really scratching my head in confusion on this one)
Mrs. Portis I forgot my paper, can I run get it from my car?
Learning to speech read more accurately, can however, help a HoH person communicate better. My local chapter of HLAA has plans to do a 2 hour “speech reading tips” class in the next couple of months. Some great resources that we will be utilizing, come from CHHA (Canadian Hard of Hearing Association), and include:
“Sound Ideas: Managing your Hearing Loss” manual and video
“Lip Reading Naturally” by Frances Mezei and Shirlee Smith
Think It Looks Easy?
I have a challenge for you. Mute your television and see if you can figure out what is being said. You might be surprised at how well… or how poorly you do!
Some additional resources:
© 2009 Hearing Loss Journal
5 thoughts on “Not an Exact Science…”
I just had to giggle at the image of the smooshed cat!!!! Poor thing – fortunately I have yet to smoosh my own cat!
I should probably learn to repeat back to people because I normally just say pardon, sorry, no….can you write it down please – usually because it is people’s names that I need (working in a library) and that is just one of the things I cannot get (no context!).
Wow, Denise. What you’re saying makes great sense. My dad was hard of hearing in his later years, mostly due to working on heliocopters in Vietnam. When I would say something, he would often repeat what he thought he heard me say, most of the time to our great amusement. I said something about getting a ‘check-up’.
His response – “You say you got a chipmunk?”
Now my mom’s doing the same thing to me. Which is why I now refer to “bridesmaids” as “wisemen,” thanks to a hearing malfunction.
I’m realizling that I really need to speak up with Mom around rather than speaking in my normally soft-spoken voice.
Thank you for the reminder. 🙂
Your example of mis-hearing bring a laugh to the lips–and of course I have plenty of my own! I am particularly amused by the ones where I am stunned by what I thought I heard (because there was a really, really foul word mixed in) and then it would hit me and I’d say I KNOW you didn’t say that! and then of course the person would demand that I say what I thought I heard and I wouldn’t want to and LOL!
Oh Denise… laughing WITH you, not AT you. We’ve had many similar moments with Tate’s hearing. Such good advice! I’ve encouraged him to repeat what he heard – or thought he heard and we all laugh together :0)
The smushed cat was hilarious–I got this mental picture of a “cat on glass”…I had a siamese years ago who always got herself in similar difficulties, with little to no help from me. Had to laugh.