Attention Wal-Mart Customers!

May 28

I admit it. I love Wal-mart. I go there at least once a week, even though I’ve never actually seen that bouncing yellow smiley face. It’s enough for me to see big signs with advertised “New everyday low price”, and know that “he’s” been there.

This past Saturday I went to Wal-mart and had a wonderful CI moment. As I am have only been hooked up for 2 weeks, each one still means something very special. This moment was special mainly because I had an epiphany! Deaf/HoH people are much more polite than those with typical hearing!

I was on cereal isle trying to decide between Fruity Pebbles for the kids or Peanut Butter Captain Crunch. As I stood there trying to decide to let them have the sugar, or feed them grits next week I heard something I have never heard before. An announcement on the intercom! It happened as if it were in slow motion.

“Attention Wal-mart Customers!” I felt my heart leap within my chest and I felt my grip tighten on the handle of my shopping cart. Fruity Pebbles and Captain Crunch were the furthest thing from my mind. I KNOW that my eyes were as wide as saucers and yep! You guessed it! My mouth dropped open. I clicked it shut as soon as I realized it. This time of year a bug could fly in.

“Will the owner of the Toyota Corolla, blue with Maryland license plates….” Incredible. I was standing at attention, hearing this woman’s voice over a PA somewhere above me. It seemed to be “somewhere” and “anywhere” — reverberating around me. I could feel the hair on my neck stand straight up! (That car commercial on TV. right now, where the men in black suits representing the hair on your arm or neck – you know the one? The men stand up straight, shooting up from a prone position to represent excitement? Well my “little black men hairs were all standing stiff!) In my peripheral vision I could see other customers still walking around, and even talking to their children or husbands! Excuse me!?? This voice from “nowhere” and yet “everywhere” asked us to be at attention!

The PA gave off the license plate number and continued… “You have parked in the NO PARKING zone. Please remove your vehicle from this area!”

I looked around and craned my neck, trying to see if anyone was making a break for the door. Everyone was just, Just, JUST shopping! No one seemed to even be paying attention! I took 4 Giant steps as if I were playing “mother may I?” and looked around the end cap on the cereal isle. Nope! No one was hightailing it for the door!”

The PA announcement ended as quickly as it had come! Was I the only one to hear the announcement with my new CI? Did no one else care that voice made a special announcement, addressing all of us!? How incredibly RUDE. It took me awhile to start shopping again. After all, I wanted to wait and see if the PA said, “At ease Wal-mart customers”. I may have missed that part.